Smalliva Government

criminal offense

I found out today that spitting on the sidewalk is illegal in Lakeland. Seems a bit ridiculous to me.
Do you know of any other ridiculous laws?

Fast Food = America

America is fat- really fat. Like, we’re the fattest nation on the globe. Like, that’s fat. Like, maybe we should go on a diet.
Not me. No sir-ee.
I refuse.
I like food too much. So do my friends. So does everybody.
(maybe that’s the problem)
Oh, well, those healthy bastards aren’t going to take my fast food.
It’s sooooo good, [...]

Falling Forward

Who falls backward? And why would anyone spring forward?
I don’t understand why we still have daylight savings time.
Seems as if a Jeffersonian practice might be in order of some revision.
But, most importantly of all, where exactly did my hour go?

Rant///12.19.2007

|RANT|
I don’t like HATE it when people use the bathroom with the door open.
Yes: We are close and I know you very well and we are super comfortable around each other.
No: We will never be comfortable enough around each other where I will relish the opportunity to hear you relieve yourself in the toilet! Get [...]

Fiosed (STILL)

UPDATE: Still haven’t been paid by Verizon for that d2d work I did over break. Gonna call some people (labor board, news channels, Verizon corporate) if things don’t sort out soon…
original post

i just had my sentence commutered…

At SEU, if you are an upperclassman, you have to attend chapel 35 times in a semester. If you do not meet this minimum amount of attendances, a fine of $25 per chapel service not attended is charged to your student account.
Commuters don’t have to go as long as they turn in excuse forms before [...]

FIOSed

Last week, while most of my friends were enjoying their Thanksgiving breaks, I was busy working for the man–Verizon. A manager at a marketing firm’s Tampa branch called me some time ago and asked me to interview for a sales position. The only catch to the sales job was that it was the worst kind [...]

CLAST exam

Last Saturday, at Southeastern, I had to take the CLAST exam. I don’t even know what the acronym CLAST stands for, but I do know that it is yet another incredible pointless standardized test.
I tried google-ing it to find a description or a link for this post, but was met with these results.
If you’re lazy, [...]

Squeeky Clean

This morning I went about my typical routine of rushed getting ready:

alarm
get out of bed
shower
shave
deoderent
q-tips
clothes
brush teeth

As I was in a rush to get out the door, I hastily grabbed the tube of toothpaste without reading the label. **Problem** The toothpaste suspiciously did not taste like it usually did and didn’t have that same delightful [...]

preppy white

I hate Aeropostale. I hate it. Passionately.
Reasons I hate Aeropostale:

the fact that no one can agree on the pronunciation (how the F do you say it?)
the dustiness of the products
the teenybopper clientele
the fact that all of their clothes look the same
the continual nature of their sales (do they ever end?)

Really, my main problem with [...]